The top item on my bucket list has been revised: “To write something worthwhile that will outlive me.” The “outlive me” addition is not really new, just previously undisclosed. It’s embarrassing to confess vanity.
To be clear though, I’m too slow to chase fame. My wish involves future descendants, the ones I won’t meet. I’d love to think something I wrote might connect us.
Making a bucket list is not easy for me. Jane and I aren’t keen on traveling, so that rules out the Seven Wonders of the World. Maybe we’ll go to The Little Grand Canyon in Lumpkin. We could leave after breakfast, pack a sandwich and get home to walk the dog before the six o’clock news. We’ll skip travel today and consider other possibilities.
■ Invent something simple and fun — When the Hula Hoop came along, I was amazed that plastic rings quickly encircled the world. There have been other such items: paddle balls, marbles and balsa wood airplanes come to mind. I’m a fan of simplicity.
■ Expand my palate — I love to eat, but wish I enjoyed more foods. Broccoli is a good example. It is alleged to offer health benefits, but to me the smell is not appealing, plus President George H. W. Bush didn’t like it and I trusted him.
Tomatoes on the other hand captivated me as a youngster. They looked great on a plate and my parents loved them. I began with small bites of not-quite-ripe tomato smothered in salt and became addicted. Full disclosure: Broccoli was not served at our house, nor was its less offensive cohort, asparagus.
Don Giles sometimes reminds me of the first time we saw asparagus. A lady in the cafeteria line at Valdosta State College was doling out the odd-looking fare. “What’s that?” Don asked with a dubious smile. I had no idea. My experience with exotic foods was limited to the omelets at Allstate Truck Stop in Unadilla.
I really do want to expand my food options, but my taste buds are not adventurous. Maybe I’ll start with desserts.
■ Find a cure for tinnitus — I don’t plan to delve into science. That would be like Jethro Bodeen’s quest to become a brain surgeon. I’m just hoping to learn there’s a remedy.
A month after my 72nd birthday, I began hearing high-pitched tones. It’s quite annoying and most treatments are mere distractions. If anyone submits a sure cure for tinnitus to Joiner’s Corner, you’ll be awarded the grand prize of our next major drawing. I haven’t yet decided which major to draw, perhaps Major Tom.
■ Skip a rock five times — Three skips are easy with the right rock and four is attainable, but I can’t hit five even in my dreams. I’ve enjoyed skipping rocks since childhood, inspired by Opie Taylor tossing a stone into a fishing hole.
■ Learn to carve — I can already whittle a stick into something that resembles a pencil. That skill also came from watching The Andy Griffith Show and the whittling men of Mayberry. When it comes to serious carving though, I can’t make anything mantle worthy.
James Woodward recommended a good book and gave me a carving block along with a wooden knife and an arrow he’d made. I read the book but put the block on a shelf. I may leave it there because it reminds me that life is like that block in some ways. The choices we make help shape who we are.
That’s enough bucket list items for now. I’m earnestly working on the first one, but don’t know if I’ll ever write something worthwhile that will outlive me. Here’s something I do know. The carving block of life always needs attention.
If we whittle without divine guidance, we’ll eventually fail. Even our best efforts will only yield temporary satisfaction. The shaping strokes that offer lasting rewards are those where God holds the knife and we don’t interfere.
Perhaps a bigger blessing is that no matter how bad we mangle our blocks, God can turn them into something beautiful. Each new day we have choices to make. He leaves it up to us as to who will hold the knife.
— Neil Joiner
Vienna, Georgia
gneiljoiner@gmail.com, joinerscorner.com